With Lust comes Anger

Since I have a newborn,, I will keep this brief. Every person struggling with unwanted sexual behavior has anger issues. Most of them do not know it. The goal in recovery is to not take away their anger entirely, but for them to get angry at an injustice to the right degree for the right purpose. To heal from your addiction, you must heal in your anger and use it properly.

Connection between Lust and Anger

The Bible displays how lust and anger are connected. Wherever lust is lurking, anger is nearby. Lust can be described as an over-desire for something good. So when we have an over-desire for anything, then we respond with anger by attacking whatever keeps us from it. This is why James 4:1-3 says "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." Now this doesn't mean that passion for anything is wrong as God has a passion for his people, justice, and his creation. What this does mean is there is a correct order to the loves in your life (See Augustine for interest in the order of loves). Perhaps you have made your job or success the number one over God and family in your life. Maybe you love performing well above all things that porn/sex addiction makes you sink into despair. Maybe you love your marriage more than God. All these things are good in their proper order, but shouldn't be ultimate over God. What would it look like to anchor your hope in Christ so that he can help you order your loves in the proper order? What would it look like to let Christ order your anger to the right degree for the right purpose in love?

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