Why Do Addicts Lie? Part 1

If you have spent any time understanding addiction, then quickly you will find out that addicts are dishonest. Honestly, they are very good at lying as most of them have been practicing it throughout their lives. This is one of the hardest things to deal with as a spouse because it is hard to discern lies from truthfulness. This series hopes to understand lying and addiction as it is a huge part of understanding any struggling addict as well as a struggling spouse.

Believing Lies Leads to Lying

Addicts struggle with lying because they believe in lies. Some of the lies are: I am loved based on how I perform, I am not responsible for my choices, I can fix myself, I know what is best for my life, this behavior doesn’t hurt anyone, what I am doing is not a problem, my desires are always good for me, my feelings or thoughts are always accurate, I love people well and never fail to love them, they are not giving me what I need and that is why I am struggling, I have a right to get relief from this emotion, I am not allowed to fail, I have a lot of trauma in my story and so I can’t be held responsible for decisions/behavior, etc. Normally, struggling addicts are deceived so deeply that it is hard for them to be clear about the lies they believe. However, They are living those lies out. As you can see, these lies of belief cause someone to lie to protect them. For example, if you are loved based on your performance, you might minimize standards to look good (lie to self/others) or hide by lying to show others you are performing well. This is why a big part of recovery from porn/sex addiction is separating false beliefs from truthful ones. Christians worship a God who not only deeply cares about truth (Exodus 20:16), but also is Truth (John 14:16). To live truthful lives, we need the person of all Truth (Jesus) to save us from the lies we believe, free us from deception, and change us to live truthful lives through his faithful presence. This will undoubtedly mean that we need Jesus to use others to help us distinguish truth from falsehood.

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