One thing that is common among people who struggle with porn/sex addiction is that they oftentimes just coast. Some come to therapy thinking that their time with a therapist is going to change their life without any effort on their own outside of therapy. Almost as if the therapist is a magician that says something miraculous that will forever change the person without them making any effort. Therefore, this just causes someone to coast because all the effort is left up to the therapist without the person taking any ownership to change on their own. This usually leaves someone disappointed in their time in therapy because their therapist isn’t a miracle worker. Though what a therapist says matters and can be helpful, what the person does outside of therapy matters more.  

Proactive Recovery

All of us know intuitively that if we want to change our bodies we have to change a lot of behavior. We have to change eating habits, work out often, stretch ourselves, gain accountability, and at times we need a trainer to help guide us. So why do we know that intuitively about working out and do not apply it to change ourselves? If you want to change addiction, trauma, depression, a marriage after an affair, or your relationships, then you can’t just coast. Coasting may have got you here in the first place, but it is most certainly not allowing you to change. This is why God speaks against laziness when he says, “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12-13). This passage talks about changing as it pertains to growth in Christlikeness and not attaining salvation. God is telling us that we need to put forth the effort to change and he will work in us. Sometimes it takes a longer time than others, but your recovery has to have a plan for change where you understand your story more, connect with others, figure out your God-given dreams in life, learn new content, alter habits, etc. What is the first thing you can put more effort into change today?

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Schedule a call with Clifton to begin your first step in your journey with others, God, and yourself.