One question that I ask clients when they share about something really hard is “Who else is journeying with you during this hard circumstance in your life?” The saddest answer I often hear is no one else knows. Now I am not advocating for oversharing, but if your closest friends in your life are never aware of your hardships, then what does that say about your relationship? I can only imagine how tough it is for you to navigate life’s hardships on your own instead of inviting others into your life hardships. There is nothing more beautiful in life than to be fully known and yet fully loved.

Made For Connection 

Every person who shows up in my office no matter where they are spiritually knows they need deep connection. Addiction and trauma get in the way of connection. One of the joys of being a counselor is connecting with people who have never connected with anyone in their lives. Connection is of vital importance when it comes to people’s healing, especially in therapy. We have all had periods of our lives where we felt alone or disconnected and oftentimes our struggles get worse. Being made in the image of God, we can’t stop longing to connect with others and one of the biggest consequences of the fall is broken relationships (Genesis 1:27; Ephes. 2:14-19).

Strugglers of addiction long for connection and they sometimes do not even know it. Johann Hari’s TED Talk in 2015 gets at this when the last thing he said was that “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection”. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, porn & sex addiction (or any addiction) often causes one to hide, disconnect, lie, and try to fix themselves in isolation (Genesis 3:7-13). This is only a recipe for more pain as you were made for connection. This is why the gospel is so compelling because Jesus knew you would struggle with addiction and yet He wasn’t going to let it keep Him from connection with you! In being united to Him, he also unites you to His Spirit-filled people to help you grow as they seek growth for their deep issues as well. This is why Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book Life Together wrote, “The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother’s is sure.”

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Schedule a call with Clifton to begin your journey of connecting with others, God, and yourself.